It's December!!!!

And that means it's Christmas!!!!  I'm a Christmas aholic and love this time of year!  I've been listening to Christmas music for a few weeks now and finally (because I don't really want to drive my husband crazy) I can decorate!!!!!  So yesterday I did some basic stuff and today some more will go up and then in the next week or so we'll get a tree!  And hopefully this baby will stay put until after Christmas even though there is no inication that she'll be here earlier.

The nerd in me

So I am a nerd.  In many ways actually, but still I am a nerd.  I like a lot of reality TV shows and one of them that I like to follow, but not watch, is "19 Kids & Counting".  I don't watch it because we don't have that channel anymore.  Do I actually want that many kids?  Not a chance, but I find it enjoyable (and entertaining if Dan is watching too because he sees the family in a completely different way) to watch this family raise their 19 kids.  Why does this family have 19 kids? They don't believe in birth control. Fine. More power to you! I don't particularily think hormonal birth control is good either, but I'm fine with non-hormonal types where as they are not.

Yes they have 19 kids and apparently one more on the way.  And it amuses me that every time they announce they are having another kid people get into a rage because it's "stupid, selfish, child abuse, etc, etc....".  My thoughts however, go towards a time, not too long ago, when birth control wasn't very common.  http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/amex/pill/timeline/timeline2.html is just one website that describes the history of birth control.  While it has been used for years in various forms, it wasn't until the 1950's that the hormonal type became available and popular.  So what did people do before then?  Well a lot were much like the Duggars - they became pregnant whenever God (whether they believed in God or not) allowed them too.  It wasn't a big deal.  Did all families have huge numbers of kids?  No.  But many had 10+ I'm sure, although I have no research to back that up. 

So why the huge uproar now when a family has large numbers of kids?  Well because it's not common so that must make it wrong!  I mean seriously (and I say this with sarcasm) how do the older kids get to enjoy life when they are helping take care of the younger kids?  Can't you see that they are losing out on their childhood? (end sarcasm)  Just the thought of older siblings helping with younger ones seems to be horrific to most people!  Well sorry people, but that's the way it was done for years and now because we average only 1.86 kids per family with kids (.90 per family) we don't have to do that anymore does not make it child abuse!  Let the family have their kids!  God has given them the means to support these kids and the kids are all well loved and happy, healthy members of society.  Just because they are different then the majority of society does not make it wrong to have so many kids!

I guess I get a bit passionate about this (aka the nerd in me!) because I myself want what society would consider a large family.  In fact we have already gotten questions about whether or not we'll "try for a boy" because we'll have 2 girls.  Well people, we weren't planning on stopping after only 2 anyway, but we won't be continuing just for a boy!  We'll be having more (Lord willing) because we want more and feel that God wants us to have more!  Do we have a maximum number?  Yup, and it's much less then 19.  In fact it's less then 10 by a few digits.  No means huge to us, but to the rest of society our maximum number is crazy and if we actually get to that number I'm sure we'll be getting raised eyebrows by some people!

Happy Birthday!!!

Happy birthday to Dan!!!!  He doesn't usually like to do much for his birthday, but I still try and do something... however this year his birthday fell on a Wednesday which means I am teaching piano, so there really wasn't much opportunity to do anything.  However we will be doing something tomorrow!

This week is also the week I was originally supposed to be having a baby.  My due date for our Viel angel baby was October 16th (which was Sunday) so at some point during this week I was supposed to be having a baby.  While I didn't even remember it originally, I have thought about it a couple of times this week.  I think that because I am pregnant again it isn't as painful as it would have been originally, but just thinking that I would have been having a baby this week is somewhat overwhelming right now!  There is just a lot going on in our lives at the moment and it just is nice to know that baby #2 will be safe and secure (Lord willing) for another couple of months!

So happy birthday to my WONDERFUL husband Dan and happy birthday to our baby in heaven!  We are looking forward to meeting you someday little one!

It's a....

Girl!!!!!

Our second ultrasound was a success on more then one level!  The tech was able to get all the pictures she needed to complete the anatomy profile and we were able to be shown that baby #2 is another girl!

Dan doesn't want to do a huge announcement on facebook so I'm doing the big announcement here!

Well I guess it's fall.  The leaves are mostly orange and yellow and it's most definately getting colder outside!  I'm working on bringing in the garden and it's a lot of fun to have home grown produce around! 

The season has started up again as well.  With school in full swing (not that it affects me right now) I'm back to teaching piano and ladies Bible study is beginning next week I believe.  The rig-a-ma-role of schedule has begun!  I've also recently switched doctors for my pregnancy.  I wasn't feeling very comfortable with my old doctor for many reasons so I managed to get in with a different doctor who I like a lot more already!  She's just a little bit more laid back and soft spoken and that makes me much more confident! 

Things with this pregnancy are going well.  I do seem to have a few more headaches with this one, but because Maddison was 2 years ago I could also have just forgot how many I had with her too.  At any rate, hopefully once I hit the 3rd trimester they will go away again.  We are still waiting patiently for our next ultrasound to see whether this baby will let us know what it is gender wise.  We both think it's a boy but only time will tell I guess.  If they can't see anything again at the end of September we will probably pay to get one done in Edmonton over Thanksgiving.  We really do like the idea of knowing before hand!

My house is up for sale again.  This will be the last time that we put it up.  Both Dan & I are tired of the landlord game and we have a few necessary purchases to make soon that we require money for.  So if you know of anyone who is in the market for a great little house in Sexsmith, send them our way!

And that's pretty much all I've got today.  Unfortunately I woke up early this morning, I guess Saturday mornings are no longer sleep in mornings, and now my daughter is awake so I've got to do the mom thing.  Hopefully I don't get sick again today like I did yesterday......

He gives and takes away.....

....my heart will choose to say, blessed be Your name.

There is a lot on my heart right now.  After life had settled down somewhat it seems like now we are in another whirlwind.  So this post may not make much sense, but here goes anyway.....

Being a Christian does not mean you get the easy life.  Dan and me have had a lot of challenges during our 2 1/2 year marriage thus far and I'm sure that it will only continue!  That isn't to say we don't enjoy life, but sometimes we just wish we could have it a bit easier.  However, we have had it much easier then some! 

We have aquantances who just lost their 10 month old daughter to a heart condition.  After fighting for a couple of months in Edmonton, she seemed to be doing better and then today the Lord chose to take her home.  Why?  We will never know on this side of heaven but praise be that this family is part of the Lord's family because they are fully relying on His strength and power right now.

We have friends who just today had their baby boy.  Their first child.  At not even 12 hours old he is currently being flown to Edmonton with a possible brain bleed and the prognosis is unknown.  We are again joining with the family of the Lord to lift them up in prayer.

What are we currently struggling with?  We compared to these two families, not much!  Our renters in my (Heathers) house have received another job in High Level and will be moving out of my house only a few months into their rental contract.  So once again we are putting my house up for sale.  We are tired of this rigamaroll.  This is the year that my house will sell.  We are placing this in the hands of the Lord knowing that even though He is dealing with the Jantz and Holm families and their much more serious situations, He has not forgotten us either! 

What a mighty God we serve!  He is a comfort to those who are dealing with life, death, sickness and much more but He is also a comfort to those who are dealing with mundane life situations like selling a house.  What would we do with the Lord?

On top of all of that is celebration because today is a very special day!  Yes new life has entered the world and brought joy to the Holm's, but last year new life also entered the world for two other families we know!  It was the first birthday for my cousins daughter and a friends son!  And 36 years ago two people made a committment to each other and because of their love and dedication to each other and the Lord, me and my siblings have the heritage of family! 

Happy anniversary Mom & Dad!  You are a great example to us as to what a loving marriage and parenting relationship should be!  I can only speak for myself, but I'm sure the rest will agree, that if Dan & me are a fraction of what you two are in the areas of marriage and parenting and a relationship with the Lord we will be blessed!

Ah Summer!!!!

So summer has finally arrived! It took a while, but we finally have green trees and sun (kind of). It's been a rainy June but it's summer still none the less! We have spent a lot of time outside and enjoyed getting out. We also have our garden in and most of it is growing fabulously! The peppers haven't come up yet, and I don't know if they will, but the rest has come in great! I spent the morning today hoeing between the rows to minimize the weeds and still have to weed the actual rows, but that may come tomorrow.

 

 

We also have done some large purchasing and bought ourselves a tent trailer! We were unsure of camping in just a tent this summer and were looking at a tent trailer but didn't know if we would actually go through with it. But we found one we really liked and it was a great deal, so we jumped on it! And this trailer should get us through quite a few years and kids, so that is a plus as well!!!! Only downside, it looks like the 90's trailer it is so we may do some redecorating in the next couple of years to make it a little more up to date!

 

 

We made a few other changes as well. Dan has quit the leadership aspect of sound ministry and reduced his stress that way. We also got rid of both dogs. One went back to the pound and the other went to doggy heaven. It was a sad day when Emily went to the vet, but in the long run it was better for our family. Eventually we will likely get another dog, but that probably won't be until our kids are old enough to take some responsibility with them.

 

 

And on a final note, we are, Lord willing, going to be having another baby in January of next year. I am currently 12 weeks along and feeling very gross, but better then I was a couple of weeks ago! We have made it past the time of loss with our last pregnancy and feeling hopeful that all is going well! So now it's just a matter of getting through this grossness feeling (which I am hoping goes away soon) and starting to feel more pregnant!

 

 

So that's our news!

2 years and counting!!!

Happy Anniversary to Dan and me!!!!!! While 2 years is barely a drop in the bucket for some, it's still cause for celebration for us!!! This last year has been much less eventful then our first year, and for that we are grateful. We spent most of the year enjoying our family and watching Maddison grow. We celebrated holidays, went on vacation, and just enjoyed life! March was a bit rough with the miscarriage and everything associated with that, but we have since recovered mostly and are back to "regular scheduled life" so to speak.

Dan is actually on call this week, so we won't be doing anything special for our anniversary until after, but then we are, courtesy of my parents Christmas present to us, headed to Jasper for a weekend just the two of us!!!! We are hopefully going to take the bike (the first big bike trip for me) and just have us time without kiddo. It's wonderful to have parents around to babysit!!!!

And that's about it for now. Next post.... will either be on natural disasters or Maddison, but it will probably be soon.

The World We Live In

I live in a small town. I was born in this small town. In all reality, I will probably spend most, if not all, of my life in this small town. I have however had wonderful opportunities to travel to many different places in the world and I have enjoyed these ventures greatly. However, nothing ever gets the small town mentality out of a person.

In addition to growing up in a small town, I am a born-again Christian and believe the Bible word for word, which means that in most controversial topics, I lean to the right - which in today's world seems to be the upopular opinion.

Where is this going you ask?

Well I browse on a public forum website about pregnancy and parenting. I don't contribute to many conversations on there but I browse and in all honesty, it has opened my eyes to the spiritual/moral condition of others out there. Living in the small, northern town that I do kind of shelters me from the "true" condition of the world. This public forum allows me to see the real world (at least the North American part of it) and it saddens me to see how far from the Biblical worldview we have come. Life is no longer sacred. A baby is no longer considered a baby unless it is physically breathing on it's own outside of it's mother. A marriage can be thrown away for nothing. Affairs are common-place. Family doesn't necessarily come first. The Bible is a story and contains no factual information. It doesn't matter what you do, as long as it's right for you that's ok.

Where is the hope in that? Where is the santicity of human life? Where is the value of family? And most importantly, what is the point in doing the things you do if you don't have an eternal future?

This past weekend was Easter. I love Easter, but it doesn't usually bring the same excitement for me as Christmas. This year was different however. I think it's because of the miscarriage I had in March, but for some reason I just couldn't wait for Easter sunday to get here. The hope that Christ rising from the dead gives me (and everybody else who chooses to accept Him) is that I know for a fact that I will see my baby in Heaven. He/she may have only been 8 1/2 weeks "old" and wasn't bigger then a raspberry, but most major bodily organs and systems were already mostly formed. My babies heart was beating at one point. That "fetus" was my baby. Could that baby survive outside of me? No. That doesn't make it any less human. But because of my Saviors sacrifice for me, I have hope that not only will I one day see my baby, but that I can live my life with peace because I know my eternal future. This world may throw some pretty weird stuff at me and my viewpoint may be unpopular at times, but above all else, I know where I am going to end up.

Praise God! I serve a risen Savior, He's in the world today!

When God Speaks....

He knows what to say.

"Through the Lords' mercies we are not consumed,
because His compassions fail not.
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
'The Lord is my portion,' says my soul,
'Therefore I hope in Him!'
The Lord is good to those who wait for Him,
to the soul who seeks Him."

Lamentations 3: 22-25

"For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother's womb.
I will praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made,
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the eart.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance, being yet unformed.
And in You book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them"

Psalm 139:13-16

Honestly, these last couple of days have been hard. I am physically recovered and doing very well and emotionally I am getting there, but some points of the day are harder then others. If I don't hear anything from the doctor today I am in the clear, so maybe after today my healing will be even better. I never thought that you could miss someone you never met. I was wrong, but God is still faithful. He has brought Dan and me closer because of this and my love for Maddison has grown to even stronger levels that I didn't know existed. My heart still hurts yes, but I have hope and I have no idea where I would be without it.

Praise God for His faithfulness and love. He is the giver of all things and He has the strength that we do not.

Recent Events

Well, this was supposed to be a happy announcement, however this past week has changed that. On February 8 Dan & I found out that I was pregnant with baby #2. All was going well and the expected due date was October 16. Last week Saturday (March 5) I started experiencing some spotting, which led to a trip to the ER and two doctors appointments last week. In short, March 11 I lost the baby at about 8 1/2 weeks.

The past week has been rough as we had no answers to our questions until Friday, when we discovered for sure that I was experiencing a miscarriage. It's not an easy thing to go through, but it is what happens on occasion and we have had lots of support from friends and family. The picture to the right is of the flowers that my parents bought Dan & me yesterday after everything happened. I think my mom knows me well!!!

Well, well, well....

How life goes by quickly! My baby has turned one. Her first birthday was on February 12 and we had a grand time! Dan's parents and sister came up, so for the weekend we had 4 kids under the age of 3 in the house. Talk about busy!!! We didn't do much for a party, as she is only one and won't remember any of this anyway. We had family over for cake after supper and then opened gifts. By the end of the gift opening Maddison was ready for bed! I made my first birthday cake ever (well, for a kid anyway...) and it turned out great. Because Maddison LOVES puppies and anything that goes "woof" I decided to make a dog cake. So to the internet I went and found instructions and whatnot for a dog cake. Then I used Emily as inspiration for the frosting and went from there. It actually turned out really well and I was quite pleased with it!

Seeing as this is the first post of 2011, I have to say that we have enjoyed our year so far! After the huge snowfall in the middle of January I decided to buy Dan a snowblower, so we now have a snowblower! We also bought me a new computer because my old one was rapidly wearing out. It's nice to be able to turn on my computer now and know it will turn on! We've gone skating a couple of times and discovered that Maddison loves it! She just grins and laughs as we skate around pulling her on the sled. It's very cool! Her newest accomplishment (as of today) is taking a few steps between me and Dan! It's very cute to watch!!

We've had quite a busy year already with the church, but it seems to have slowed down in the past couple of weeks, so that's nice. God has already used this year to stretch us and teach us many things, so it is looking to be quite the year!!

So Happy New Year, Happy Valentines day, and Happy family day!!!!