15 Years

Teen Missions International Iceland Team 1999

15 years ago my life changed.  It wasn't something that was done to me or any sort of traumatic experience, it was a choice I made to leave home for two months, attend boot camp and spend 5 weeks in Iceland with about 28 other teenagers.  Tonight I kind of re-lived part of that by watching this years commissioning online.  I hadn't planned on watching it (I didn't even know it was streamed live), but I happened to log onto facebook after supper and saw that it was streaming online.  So I watched.

And as I watched I fed my infant baby, cleaned up supper, and bathed my two older girls.  And all the while I thought about 15 years ago and how different my life was then.  Not in a nostalgic, sad kind of way but rather a nostalgic, amazed kind of way.  15 years ago I was 15.  Half my life ago my parents had a bout of insanity and agreed to let me travel halfway around the world for the summer with a bunch of strangers.  I'm still not sure what they ate before I asked if I could go, but whatever it was, God sure did use it. 

My life changed that summer.  I may have been young, and thought I wasn't, but that summer solidified my walk with God in a way I can tangibly look back on.  I am even still in contact with a few of those team members - and not just random facebook contact, but close enough contact that we talk about visiting each other once our lives don't include newborns and we both have a bit more financial freedom.  My leader from that team is a missionary that Dan & I support on a monthly basis as well.  Her and her family were supposed to be in Canada on their last furlough but they had to cancel that stop.  That summer I discovered, for the first time that I remember, that God really is who He says He is.  He provides in ways that you don't think of and gives you everything that you need.

15 years ago I didn't really think about where I would be 15 years from then.  And I don't think I ever would have imagined that I would be able to watch other 15 year olds go through their own commissioning to their own summers.  And I can guarantee I wouldn't have thought I would be taking care of my 3 kids while I was watching it.  Time really does change you, but God really doesn't change.  Because those same things I learned that summer 15 years ago, I am still learning today.  Those same things I learned that summer, I will probably still be learning, in whole new ways, 15 years from now.

So yes, 15 years ago my life changed.  It changed for the better.  It was an experience I will never forget.  And should my own children ask me in 10 to 15 years if they can hop on board those busses and head down to Florida for two weeks of bootcamp and then travel to who knows where in the world for the entire summer, I will likely say yes.  Because while 15 years old may be young, they need to have their chance at changing their life too. 

And tonight, I am happy.  Happy for those kids who dared to take that risk.  Happy that I wasn't there tonight.  And happy for where my life has gone these past 15 years.  So I was nostalgic, yes.  But I am so thankful for where God has brought me since then and thinking back to that just made me crazy excited for where I will be 15 years from now.  Life can't be lived in the past, but looking back on all that has happened in the past can make you excited for the future!  Because right now I can get kind of stuck in the rut of the daily grind.  My existence sometimes seems like it's going to be poopy diapers, potty training, and whiney temper tantrums forever.  But 15 years from now this will likely all be a distant memory.  And I will look back and see God.  I'll see how He carried us from day to day and provided everything we needed.  I'll know in deeper ways who He really is.  And hopefully, when I look back 15 years from now, I'll be just as nostalgic.  Because it's good to see where you've come from so you can look ahead with enthusiasm to where you are going to go.

A little of this a little of that

So it's been a couple months (three actually) since I wrote.  I have thought about writing many times, but life kind of just catches up with me and I never do.  Since my last post we have celebrated Easter, gone through some ups & downs of house decisions, had our 5th wedding anniversary and had a good time at Sexsmith's Chataqua Day.  Ah life.

It doesn't seem like life should be going by quite this fast.  5 years ago we got married.  5 years ago.  Yet a whole lot of life has happened in those 5 years.  3 babies, 2 miscarriages, selling one house and completely renovating another, changing vehicles, getting a camping trailer, and a lot of family changes in the middle.  5 years shouldn't bring about that much change right?  It makes me very excited to see what the next 5 years will bring.

For now though, here are some pictures of recent life!

3 years ago

3 years ago my life was altered in a way I never wanted it to be.  3 years ago I experienced my first loss of a child.  I never knew my child in the way that most parents do because he/she (referred to as he from now on) was only 8 weeks gestation, but he was still a part of me.  He was a surprise, but he was loved and wanted from the second we discovered he was on his way.  I don't know if I will ever forget the feelings I had when I first started bleeding the few days before I lost that baby.  That week was a very long week, full of emotions and waiting, fear and uncertainty.  And even though I have had two full-term pregnancies since then, with each one that fear and uncertainty comes back.  With each pregnancy I now ask myself "will this one stick?"  3 years ago my life changed.  Happy birthday my darling child.  My Timothy Neveah. 

Randomness about my thoughts this week

My mind has been running these last few weeks.  Unlike most ladies, I don't find the post partum period to be too bad.  I haven't really had a huge issue adjusting with any of my babies thus far, but I find that I do a lot of deep thinking during the first few weeks after I have a baby.  I don't share a lot, and I don't even talk a lot with my babies or Dan, but my mind works through a lot.  And it's not even that I discover anything deep or challenging about myself or the world, it's just thoughts about life.

So in light of that, this post may be a bit random.  Kendall is 6 weeks tomorrow (and seriously, where does the time go?) and we are settling into a routine.  All of that got thrown out the window this week as Brooklyn came down with some sort of nasty virus, which hopefully doesn't make it's rounds now, but she is on the upswing and life will probably get back to normal next week.  As normal as it gets with a newborn around anyway.  And maybe it's been because we had to take a step back this past week that I am feeling somewhat thoughtful. 

Just a hint of a smile

I was the beneficiary of plenty of cuddles with all my girls this week, but especially with Brooklyn.  And there is just something about having the chubby hands of your sick two year old wrapped around your neck or her small warm body cuddled up beside you as she naps that makes you want the moment to never end.  The pleasure of having your newborn cuddle up into your chest while your toddler and preschooler each cuddle up on either side of you while you watch "The Little Mermaid" or "Tangled" for the 1000th time that makes time seem like it needs to stand still.  So many moments where you think it would be great to have a camera, but then again, a camera can never truly capture the full feeling of the moment.  It doesn't save the smells and sounds and feelings.  So I just let my mind capture it all, and I savoured in every moment. 


Pretty in pink

And that makes it sound like this week was without challenge, but that's not true.  There were definite times of challenge and times where I wondered if I would make it through the day with my sanity still around.  I did, kind of, and somehow I made it through the sleep deprived nights we had this week.  Nothing like sharing your bed with a two year old and newborn.  That doesn't make for much sleep for mom! 


My drama queen

But here we are, at the end of the week.  And it's just after 9 pm on Saturday night.  Dan is on call and out working right now, so I'm home alone with the girls.  Sitting in silence because all 3 are asleep, in their own beds!  I survived another week and can look ahead to the new challenges that next week will bring.  But for now, I'll just sit here and enjoy the silence, because I really have no idea how long it will last.

Kendall Susanne

I know this is late but I'd like to announce the arrival of our third daughter - Kendall Susanne.  She was born January 19, 2014 at 11:17 pm weighing in a 8 lbs, 8 oz and 19 3/4 inches long.  She has been a wonderful addition to our family and we are thoroughly enjoying getting to know her!

Life in the New Year

Well 2014 has begun.  It's been a bit of a slow start for us here at the Viels.  It seems like time has stopped moving and we are at a standstill.  That isn't the actual case obviously because time doesn't really ever stop.  However I am in the final weeks of pregnancy and time seems to have stopped.  It is only the 5th (and yes, I had to check the calendar to make sure that was right) and it feels like it should be the 20th.  Yup, this month is dragging by.

In other news, my other baby turns 2 on Saturday.  2 already.  2 years ago I was in a similar position, only I was legitimately that much closer to the end.  2 years of living with our adorably cute Brooklyn, who decided that the stage was a good place to be in church this morning.  While the pastor was preaching.  I guess it's a good thing that our girls are feeling comfortable at the church we have been going to!