3 years ago

3 years ago my life was altered in a way I never wanted it to be.  3 years ago I experienced my first loss of a child.  I never knew my child in the way that most parents do because he/she (referred to as he from now on) was only 8 weeks gestation, but he was still a part of me.  He was a surprise, but he was loved and wanted from the second we discovered he was on his way.  I don't know if I will ever forget the feelings I had when I first started bleeding the few days before I lost that baby.  That week was a very long week, full of emotions and waiting, fear and uncertainty.  And even though I have had two full-term pregnancies since then, with each one that fear and uncertainty comes back.  With each pregnancy I now ask myself "will this one stick?"  3 years ago my life changed.  Happy birthday my darling child.  My Timothy Neveah.