15 Years

Teen Missions International Iceland Team 1999

15 years ago my life changed.  It wasn't something that was done to me or any sort of traumatic experience, it was a choice I made to leave home for two months, attend boot camp and spend 5 weeks in Iceland with about 28 other teenagers.  Tonight I kind of re-lived part of that by watching this years commissioning online.  I hadn't planned on watching it (I didn't even know it was streamed live), but I happened to log onto facebook after supper and saw that it was streaming online.  So I watched.

And as I watched I fed my infant baby, cleaned up supper, and bathed my two older girls.  And all the while I thought about 15 years ago and how different my life was then.  Not in a nostalgic, sad kind of way but rather a nostalgic, amazed kind of way.  15 years ago I was 15.  Half my life ago my parents had a bout of insanity and agreed to let me travel halfway around the world for the summer with a bunch of strangers.  I'm still not sure what they ate before I asked if I could go, but whatever it was, God sure did use it. 

My life changed that summer.  I may have been young, and thought I wasn't, but that summer solidified my walk with God in a way I can tangibly look back on.  I am even still in contact with a few of those team members - and not just random facebook contact, but close enough contact that we talk about visiting each other once our lives don't include newborns and we both have a bit more financial freedom.  My leader from that team is a missionary that Dan & I support on a monthly basis as well.  Her and her family were supposed to be in Canada on their last furlough but they had to cancel that stop.  That summer I discovered, for the first time that I remember, that God really is who He says He is.  He provides in ways that you don't think of and gives you everything that you need.

15 years ago I didn't really think about where I would be 15 years from then.  And I don't think I ever would have imagined that I would be able to watch other 15 year olds go through their own commissioning to their own summers.  And I can guarantee I wouldn't have thought I would be taking care of my 3 kids while I was watching it.  Time really does change you, but God really doesn't change.  Because those same things I learned that summer 15 years ago, I am still learning today.  Those same things I learned that summer, I will probably still be learning, in whole new ways, 15 years from now.

So yes, 15 years ago my life changed.  It changed for the better.  It was an experience I will never forget.  And should my own children ask me in 10 to 15 years if they can hop on board those busses and head down to Florida for two weeks of bootcamp and then travel to who knows where in the world for the entire summer, I will likely say yes.  Because while 15 years old may be young, they need to have their chance at changing their life too. 

And tonight, I am happy.  Happy for those kids who dared to take that risk.  Happy that I wasn't there tonight.  And happy for where my life has gone these past 15 years.  So I was nostalgic, yes.  But I am so thankful for where God has brought me since then and thinking back to that just made me crazy excited for where I will be 15 years from now.  Life can't be lived in the past, but looking back on all that has happened in the past can make you excited for the future!  Because right now I can get kind of stuck in the rut of the daily grind.  My existence sometimes seems like it's going to be poopy diapers, potty training, and whiney temper tantrums forever.  But 15 years from now this will likely all be a distant memory.  And I will look back and see God.  I'll see how He carried us from day to day and provided everything we needed.  I'll know in deeper ways who He really is.  And hopefully, when I look back 15 years from now, I'll be just as nostalgic.  Because it's good to see where you've come from so you can look ahead with enthusiasm to where you are going to go.